Man’s Search for Purpose

The search for purpose in these modern times has become excruciatingly trendy, overly romanticized, and highly stylized that it seems that it has become increasingly more difficult and confusing than it should be. It’s the talk of many books, blogs, and vlogs across the globe, but it seems that this talk is creating more confusion and anxiety rather than bringing people closer to finding themselves and their peace. The topic has become somewhat reminiscent of a Disney movie in which all you have to do is sit and meditate for a couple minutes and your purpose will wash over you in a blaze of glory, light, and joy. Everything will immediately make sense, and you will finally be saved from your misery only now being able to live happily ever after. The man (or woman) of your dreams will burst through your door on an ivory horse with a red rose clutched between his (or her) pearled teeth. It is almost expected to feel like something from a movie—man defeats challenge/obstacle and scores “the girl” in his endless testosterone-fueled conquest. 

People’s expectations are soaring exceedingly beyond reality. People expect to feel something—they expect to feel this overwhelming clarity, happiness, love, and passion as an angel descends from the Heavens to hand deliver their entire life’s purpose to them. It should feel like an Instagram-perfect shot because it can’t be legit if it isn’t on social media, right? Unfortunately, I feel that it is far less romantic and sexy than that, though.  

In my (limited) experience, though in the vastness of the Universe all of our experiences are limited whether young or old, purpose has felt like more of an impulsive need rather than being enveloped in the embrace of a lover. If you haven’t pursued it, it feels like not taking care of yourself or your needs while you sit and procrastinate until the end of time (like I did with the writing of this article); a nagging that never ceases. It’s the passing of an old friend on the street that you’ve been meaning to meet up with, or a pet demanding your attention until you finally can’t ignore it, giving it the attention it desires. It is the nurturing of the soul, or the neglect when you ignore it, and can either heal you or destroy you. It feels much like a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental need. You can feel the need in your body. Your hands will get antsy and restless aching for a pen, your throat will ache in words unsaid and lyrics unsung, and your heart will sink into the depths of despair while your soul unhealed is too weak to lift it back up; however, when you fulfill it, you feel a certain level of satisfaction rather than an amazing epiphany, but it only lasts as long as you feed it. It is a simple need added onto your other baser needs; nothing more, nothing less. I feel that this is why many people struggle to find their life’s purpose due to the expectation that they should feel something massive. They feel that mountains should crumble at their feet and roar as they shift when it’s more of a whisper of the wind. The Universe does not shout. 

Many ignore the things they are good at due to the lack of roaring emotions, adrenaline, and seas of ecstasy. Building things doesn’t sound romantic to society, so one may ignore their calling of building whether it be building homes or relationships faded as it doesn’t seem extravagant enough. Destroying things, names and faces on billboards, corporate slavery sounds much more appealing to the pursuer of trends. Your hand may ache to serenade sheets in notebooks and journals with lyrics and poetry, or your throat may quake and shiver to vibrate into song and inspire to dance. Perhaps you’re perfectly content working in a donut shop, working in a restaurant, maintaining a building, or running a non-profit, but one may say that it can’t be true as I am still miserable. It can’t be true because it’s not extraordinary enough. It’s not about feeling good but more about creating meaning for yourself and others. Meaning can be the smile on a customer’s face when they taste the food you cooked for them, the way a song you wrote fills your audience with emotion, or the simple act of changing someone’s day just by sharing a simple “hello” and a smile. 

I feel that the voice of the Universe does not howl at the moon. That which roars is not coming from you. Listen for the voice that caresses your ears and soul gently. That is where the truth will reside.


When Everything Has Fallen Apart

When you’ve reached your limit and cannot take any more, you will take more.

When you have exhaled your last breath, you will inhale another.

You went to bed last night thinking that you cannot go another day, but here you are as you open your eyes once more.

You will do it again and again…

These days things seem like they couldn’t possibly get any worse. You may feel trapped in your own suffocating bubble of misery, meanwhile; everyone else’s bubble seems to be glowing. You may think to yourself, “What ever happened to the good old days?”
The days when things seemed less dreary.

When time seemed to fly rather than drag each torturous minute.

When your smiles were genuine and you actually meant it when you said that you were fine.

Although, perhaps you will then remember that maybe you were just idealizing those days; those good old days that never actually existed. Perhaps things have always been this way, but time has just changed how you have reacted to it. Maybe now you are wondering if things ever will get better. You were just suffering in a different way. Misery comes in different forms whether it be a blinding rage, a deep sadness, or a numbness that overtakes your whole body and mind to the point that you cannot feel a thing. It can be the sense of hopefulness slipping away where optimism once stood. You may think you have lost all hope, but a small amount will remain almost undetectable.
You will not want to take another step, but another step is exactly what you will take.
This feeling will come and go in a violent storm or a light rain. It may last a month, or it may last five years, but the dragon can be slain. Even the seemingly most indestructible can be taken down.
To slay the beast, you must find it’s weakness. Everything and everyone has one no matter how powerful. Your beast could be larger or smaller than mine, but a beast is still a beast when it is trying to bring you down. Take away its fuel and find the weakness.
Whatever you may be doing now, try the opposite. Instead of lying on the couch, go for a nice, long walk. Instead of scrolling through Facebook, flip the pages of a good book you’ve been meaning to read. Instead of feeding the beast, feed the person you wish to become; the person who is going to slay the beast and replace it.

Your body is a temple, and it’s time to disobey the current authority wrecking your mind and soul.

It is time to overthrow and bring in a new ruler; you, the one taking the back seat in your own mind.

It may not happen today nor tomorrow (as a war requires planning), but you must focus on the best battle plan to train for and then execute. Fight until one day you will wake up and be happy that you did.

Instead of waiting for a purpose, you can now give yourself one.

You will keep going because you always have, and you’re much too invested to give up now. May as well see it to the end.

Respect the Journey, but Don’t Fear the End

All too often I see people all around me (especially on Facebook) who are depressed and anxious about where they currently are in their lives and where they want to be.

“If only I was there then my life wouldn’t be like this.”

“If only I had done that differently then I would not have lost everything I valued.”

Guess what? You’re not there. If you were supposed to be there right this second then you would have been there. If you had been there too early you would not have gained what you have gained from going through the storm where you are first. If you had not lost everything then you would have no room for something better.

You cannot speed up a quality life. You can’t skip the scene nor enter any cheat codes—you have to get through the game first. You can skip through the tutorial, but you will have to reference it anyway otherwise you will learn the harder way instead, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The prize comes at the end of the journey, not before.

So why rush through it? Why run to your end? You won’t have anything else to work for—no more purpose. It’s over. You now have what you wanted, but now what? You’ve just ended your life, friend. You’ve taken your purpose prematurely, but you’ve also ended your journey with nothing left to pursue. Soon you will get bored while wishing for and daydreaming of a new journey to replace the one you cut short. The fun isn’t in the ending but in the game itself. Once your past becomes more exciting than your future you begin to die. That’s it. You won’t have a future but the inevitable end.

The end is nothing to fear, though. One should not be so afraid of endings that they never take the time to cherish what they have accomplished. For an end to a lifelong journey of selfless servitude (within passion, love, and reason) can mean you have fulfilled what you have come for. If someone still needs you then there is still work yet to be done. I know that there is a need for this type of blog (even if people don’t yet read it nor know it exists) as the world still has plenty of growing to do. It has been getting steered in the right direction, but it is still slow-going enough to hit worse hardship.

The day that no one comes to my work (or there is no need for work similar to it) is the day I and we will have succeeded at my and our collective mission(s). When my work is no longer needed nor required then that means the world has finally become what it was meant to be. If it is still needed by the time I have nothing more to give, then another will finish the job one day.

Sometimes the journey is the blessing, and sometimes the end is—or both. Do not rush to the end as that means you will miss out on a wild ride, but do not fear the end as you have contributed all you can and have lived a life that succeeded in something. Celebrate your battles and accomplishments. Love it all.